From a work-centered life to a self-centered life. How she regained her "own pace" in a social apartment

Social apartments are attractive because they allow people to enjoy interacting with others at their own pace while cherishing their private time.

There are about 50 such apartments mainly in the Tokyo metropolitan area, and these exchange-style rental properties are gaining popularity among people in their 20s and 30s.

For this interview, we spoke with Saori, who has lived in the popular Neighbors Higashi Jujo, a five-minute walk from Higashi Jujo, for one month.

Saori says that she gets lost in thought when she is alone and that she is tired of living a work-centered life. We asked her about the changes that took place before and after she moved in, as she decided to move into a social apartment in search of human interaction.

Relationships with People" Necessary to Regain Her Own Pace

Thank you very much for joining us today. First of all, please tell us why you decided to move into Social Apartment.

When I am alone, I often get lost in my thoughts and worries, and when I have problems, I cannot change my mood and spend the day with negative thoughts.

I also work from home, so I miss my lunch hour and prioritize work over private life, and I really dislike the lack of balance in my life. I spent so much time thinking about it that it pushed me to the point where I was considering taking an extended leave of absence.

At that time, with the option of going back to my parents' house not really on the table, I wondered, "What about living with other people?" I immediately applied for a private viewing and decided to move in within two weeks.

I applied for a private viewing and decided to move in within two weeks. Did you have an ideal situation in mind before you entered Social Apartment?

Saori:

Well, I wonder. I wanted to increase my exposure to other people's ways of thinking. As I was thinking in circles alone in my room, I thought, "It may be impossible to change myself on my own....

When you are alone all the time, the arrow points too much toward yourself, and your way of thinking becomes more and more biased. The evaluations of the people around me and my own self-evaluation diverge, and I blame myself and become depressed.

So I wanted to see things in a new light, balancing what I think and what others think.

I moved into Social Apartment with the hope that by increasing my contacts with other people, I would be able to change for the better.

I am now able to communicate with more people, and I am able to make choices.

How do you feel now that you have actually been in the apartment?

Saori:

It was most important for me to reset my thinking by visiting an environment where there is someone else, so I really appreciate the environment where I can go down to the lounge as soon as I get worried.

I spend less time brooding by myself, and I don't have to drag around negative feelings anymore, which gives my life a sense of balance. I feel that my performance and the amount of action I take have increased dramatically!

Oh, I feel so powerful..!

Saori:

Saori： Actually, when I decided to move in, people around me were very concerned. They said, " What you are looking for is in the social apartment, but your personality and nature are too sensitive to be suited for a social apartment. I wondered if I would be able to cope with that gap when I saw it.

But now, even people at work say, "You've been looking good lately!" I am surprised at myself (laughs). I'm surprised even at myself (laughs).

I think that if you have a sensitive temperament, you may get tired of interacting with people, but how do you communicate at Social Apartment?

Saori:

I am shy, so I was nervous and overly cautious at first. I tried to accept all invitations.

But now I've jumped over that and I can think , "I'm going to take or leave communication.

To begin with, I don't have the physical strength, I'm not good at drinking, and I don't really like being in groups for long periods of time, so I thought, "I don't like what I don't like..." (laughs).

So now, when I feel like getting off, I get off, and while I'm at work I say, "I can't do it anymore! I can't do it!" I can't do it anymore!" I just spend some time in the lounge to reset myself. That alone is enough to switch my thinking. If I feel like I'm not in the mood today, I just leave.

Compared to when you lived alone, you seem to have really picked up your pace.

Saori:

At first I was looking to get involved with other people, but then I realized that just because I am in a social apartment, I don't have to insist on talking to people (laughs). I'm becoming more and more of a person who doesn't fit in with the people around me.

That is probably because there is a lot of communication. Because it is something that continues as a way of life, there comes a time when you feel a limit to how much you can adapt to your surroundings. Then, I think we naturally develop a way of socializing and a lifestyle that is not unreasonable.

You receive so much information that you can't afford to worry about the things you used to worry about, so you inevitably have to become your true self.

But Social Apartment accepts that kind of me. I like the "freedom to come and go" of social apartments.

Saori： "The freedom to come and go as I please.

Saori:

I feel like I can join in whenever I want, and when I want to go home, I just say "good night.

Because so many people come and go, the atmosphere of the lounge changes depending on the members, the time of year, and events. I like that there are no absolutes.

I realized that "life is n=1. There are more moments when my values change.

When I hear your story, it seems like you are enjoying Social Apartment in your own way. What is it about Social Apartment that has changed you?

Saori:

I felt firsthand that there are people from all walks of life. In the lounge, there are people eating dinner together, some are working quietly, and some are cleaning dishes by themselves.

In society, there is a tendency to think that "three meals are for eating" or "everyone should participate in the drinking party," but when I was here, I realized that everyone was doing what they wanted to do.

Because there are people with different values in front of me, I can see that I don't have to follow the rules I set, or that I don't have to make things black and white.

I see that even just spending time in the lounge, you witnessed a variety of values.

Saori:

That's right. I also like to listen to what everyone has to say, but there was one word that was a big turning point for me. It was when one person said, "Life is n=1, isn't it?

What does that mean? What do these words mean?

Saori:

I had always had an "I can't be normal" complex, but when I heard those words, I thought to myself, "Everyone is an individual sample, so there is no average or median. In other words, there is no such thing as "normal.

I realized how I had been trying so hard to approach something that had no reality, and how I had been putting myself in the minority and keeping other people away from me. I took the liberty of writing these words down in my heart's golden rule book, and I still treasure them to this day.

I really gain a lot even from indirect communication. Compared to when I lived alone, I had more opportunities to "notice" things.

Social Apartment is not a place you can enter at any time in your life.

Saori: You have already achieved your goal after only one month of living in the apartment.

Saori: I really do (laughs):

Really (laughs). (Laughs) Since I have completely regained my pace, I would like to enjoy myself intuitively without thinking too hard from here.

I'm still not good at making commitments and doing things, and I'm sure there will come a time when I'll have to withdraw, but it's great that I changed my mind so much in the beginning. I'm really glad I moved here!

...It's just that while it's nice to come in with a desire for transformation like I did, and the feeling that it's being achieved, I don't think I'm looking for a panacea in social apartments.

I don't originally believe that living in a social apartment is the answer to everything. I feel that it depends on one's stance and efforts on how to interact and spend one's time. Here, you can get "auxiliary wheels" to help you move forward, but I want you to know that it is only you who paddles yourself.

I think it is very essential. I think that is very essential. Finally, do you have any message for those who are thinking about moving into a social apartment?

Saori:

I guess so. I would like to say something like, " What you are struggling with is probably what everyone else is struggling with.

You may be the only one who thinks, "I want to change but I don't have the courage," or "I want to relate to others but I lack confidence," or "I can't live without time for myself but I'm lonely," but we all are! (Laughter)

So I want you to go in without worrying too much. I think time is finite, and I don't think social apartments are a place you can enter at any time in your life!

I hope your wonderful message reaches the future tenants. Thank you very much for your time today!

(Reporting and writing by Yuki Ishikawa, Photography by Tsubasa Inouye)